Fireproof...

This was such a good movie, I really recommend it.

Navy Girlfriend

I lay motionless in bed
while the world still spins
wishing you were somewhere near
I will always be standing on that pier
waiting for your safe return
I hold onto each and every promise
But it's never a "good bye"
it's always a "see you later"
I am at the bottom of the list
I hold no Military ID
But half my heart is still on that sub
I am a Navy Girlfriend
that is my title
I have promised to be there for you
and that is something
that will always stay true
people say I'm crazy
I just smile and shake my head
because I will always hold on to our last hug
and kiss ;)
so when people say their prayers
for the wives, mothers, and fathers
I hope they won't forget me
because my heart aches too.
I sleep alone
I cry alone
But I carry on with my life
even when we are oceans apart
I promised to be strong
so I hide those tears
and put on a smile
only because you make me smile
I will always wait for you
and I will always support you
I'm right by your side through everything.
YOU ARE MY HERO J. ROSS LAWRENCE
and I love you very much!

Broke Down...

Today I just broke down. I hate being so far away and I miss him so much!! I love being there with him, even if he is playing video games and I'm just laying there on the bed or I'm getting ready. Just knowing he is close is the best feeling in the whole world. I thought I would start to get use to this, I mean thats all our relationship ever has been except for the times when I go and visit, but it's getting harder. I try to hold it all in and not tell anyone how much I really miss him, but today I broke down. I think it's from being tired and stressed out that I just started crying. I mean I'm laying my heart on the line for him and I have fallen in love with this guy. I only have a few months and I will be living there, and I can't wait. I can't wait to just be in his arms again, the place where I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world. He means the world to me and I would do anything for him. I truly hope he feels the same way. He is so amazing and I couldn't imagine my life any other way. He is the one that puts a smile on my face everyday and even though there are tears right now, it's only because I love him so much and it's his touch that I'm missing. Phone calls and Texts can only do so much.
I'm going to start tomorrow with a new day and smile on my face because I love him and I'm going to be strong. I know I can be, it's just been a long day.
I love you J. Ross!!

Little Stressed...

It's becoming that time in school where everyone is stressed out, there is a lot of homework, and there is not much time left before graduation. I have a lot on my mind right now with college and moving and everything. I'm not doubting anything, I just have so much to think about. I have been filling out scholarship stuff and there is so much paperwork that goes along with those. I have been trying to start feeling better which today I have been feeling a lot better which is great. Tomorrow I'm going to start working out again, I haven't been able to because I was sick and I can't wait to go to the gym again. It always helps to go there and have my ipod on, it's almost like I can escape the world for about an hour. I don't have to worry about a thing when I'm there. It really needs to stop raining around here, it make it hard to work when It's pouring down rain. I'm ready for Spring!!!! :) So today is officially 100 days until I graduate, wow!! It's exciting!!! :)

Senior Picture...

Doing Better...

Today I had a doctors appointment for my ear and sinus's, he put me on 3 new medicines. One of which is a pain med and it has helped a little bit so that is good. Now I'm going to try and get some stuff done while I'm feeling a little better. I have a lot of school work to do, scholarship things to fill out. Basically just time consuming, but I'm going to work through it and get it done!! Wish me luck!!

Miserable....

I knew I was sick with a cold, but on my way home from CT my ear hurt soooo bad on the plane to the point I was in tears. I don't know if any of you have ever had a bad ear on a plane, but let me tell you it's the worse. So the last couple of days I have been taking sudafed hoping that it would help. I still can't hear anything out of this ear and it is getting worse. So last night I took a pain pill and tried to go to sleep a little early because I wasn't feelin to well. Well, then I got a wake up call at 12 because my boyfriend is in Philly right now with one of his best friends and I like him to call me when he gets home from drinking so I don't worry. Well, anyways after that wake up call I couldn't go back to sleep because my ear was killing me I think I finally got another hour of sleep after the call. So this morning I went and saw a doctor, waited an hour and a half for that, finally got seen by the doctor and he said I have a bad sinus infection and probably the worst ear infection he has seen. So now I have an antibiotic and ear numbing drops to help with the pain. He said if it doesn't get somewhat better in 2 days I have to go see my doctor because my eardrum may have ruptured. I'm feeling miserable right now and to top it all off I miss Ross more than anything. I'm trying so hard to stay strong, but I just wish I was there or he was here. He knows how to make me feel better :). I have so much homework to get made up from being gone, but now I'm sick and it's the last thing I want to do lol. Well I'm off to cuddle up in a blanket and maybe take a little nap, then work on homework. I need to feel better... ahh...

The man I love

This guy right here is the most amazing guy in the whole world. I miss him so much.

Back Home....

I'm back home in Spokane. I got home late last night. It was a long day of flying and I'm sick so it didn't make for a fun trip home. I feel so bad for Ross having to deal with my crying everytime I leave. I thought it would get easier to leave him, but it's not. I fall more in love with him everytime I'm with him and that's what makes it hard. It's hard knowing we live a country apart. I just love being able to wake up in the middle of the night in his arms, I love the hugs and kisses, I love just being there. It's hard to leave that. But I'm trying to stay strong and stay busy to let the time past a little faster. It always takes me a day or two to adjust to not having him around. I'm going to make it okay and keep my head up high because I love him. I can't wait to move. 6 more weeks until I see him, and it will be him flying out to see me and my home town. I can't wait!! Oh and by the way, meeting his dad went very well. His dad is a very nice guy. (At least he opened the door for me lol) Over all my trip was amazing and I loved spending time with him. And I still have a smile on my face because he is not out to sea. :)

Valentines Day!!

My Valentine's day was amazing!!! I woke up and brought my man some breakfest, then that night he took me to dinner (we got all dressed up... it was fun) and ice cream (my favorite) and then we wanted to be little kids for a bit so we went to chucke cheese. lol. then we came home and watched a movie. It was a great night!! (I love you babe, and thank you so much for our amazing night), but of course I have been sick all day... seriously I hate the timing on things. The one week I'm out of town I get sick and have my girl problems, but oh well I guess it could be worse. Well I better get going, I headed to meet his DAD tonight... wish me luck!! :)

GOOD NEWS...

First off, I just deleted my last post on accident, and I had a comment from someone on there, but I have no idea what it said, so if you are reading and you left the comment, please comment again. Sorry :(
Secondly,
I have great news... my phone rang when I got home from school today and it was Ross, he said he only had a few minutes to talk, but that we needed to talk, he sounded like he was in a good mood, so I was like whats up? and he told me the best news I have heard in a loooong time, HE IS NOT LEAVING after all. I'm so excited, I changed my flight back. I'm heading to CT on Tuesday the 10th. I can't wait to see him!! I miss him so much and I can't wait to be there. I have so much to do now before I leave. Today can't get any better!!! :)

Wishes BROKEN...

Today has not been very good at all, I was so excited to go back to Connecticut and I couldn't wait, I have a job interview, I have a tour of the college, and I just miss him so much and wanted nothing more than to be there with him, but he called me tonight when he got out of work and said he would probably have to leave with the boat next week. Ross was going to go to school starting next monday instead of leaving with the boat, but now he probably has to leave. It was instant tears... Not just because I MISS him, but because I don't know what to do now?! I have a flight booked, a interview planned, and a tour of college. What do I do? It's hard because I'm so proud of him and words will never be able to describe how proud I am of him, and I hate showing him that I'm upset about it, because I want nothing more than to just support him through everything and I know it's his job. It's just hard, I'm new at this whole Navy Girlfriend thing, I mean he just got home from a deployment and I didn't think anything could be much worse, but I guess there is. I'm trying to stay strong.... but it's getting hard!!! These tears aren't stoppin. :(

Getting ready to see my man!

I'm heading to Connecticut on Tuesday the 10th and get to spend Valentine's day with Ross. I can't wait, but I have so much to get done before I leave. It's hard being in a long distance relationship, but I'm trying to stay strong. I just miss him so much. I can't wait to move back in June. I'm going on a tour of Southern on the 13th, and I have a job interview that same day. Moving doesn't seem so far out now. :) I have a lot to look forward to in these next few months, hopefully I will just stay busy and the time will fly by.


April- Kayla's Wedding!
May-Prom/ Ross's Birthday!
June-Graduation/ I move!!

I'm very excited for all these things coming up, I just am having a hard time right now being so far away....