I'm still Alive!!!

I'm sorry it's been so long since I have been on here. I have made it to Connecticut safely and I have been going through a lot while I have been here. I'm working all the time and when I have spare time I go to the beach. :)
I hope you are all doing well, I will write again soon!

Stressed out...

GRADUATION WEEK!!!!

- So as my last post probably clued you in.... yes Ross and I did brake up. I'm still trying to get over the shock and hurt of it all. It has not ruined be going back there completely, but it has changed a lot of things, I will not longer be going to college in CT and that is stressful trying to find schools accepting and everything and basically that is where I feel I failed and it hurts. But I will be going to CT to work for the summer.... I feel like I can not let my Boss down just because he let me down...
but enough about that.................

- I have had finals all week and tomorrow is my LAST day!!! ahh!!

Graduation is this friday June 5th
Party June 6th
and moving Monday June 8th

So as you can tell I am stressed with college plans, moving plans, finishing high school, and well getting a new car (but thats a good thing)

Heart Broken...

I can't believe this is happening!!!!!!!! :(

Friend Making Monday...

How did you and your significant other meet?

I met Ross when I flew to Connecticut with my mom and my friend to go see my sister. (My sister lives with her boyfriend at the time and 4 other guys) So when I walked into her house, I look at there are two of her roommates sitting on the couch, I thought one of them was hot. When we went to my sister's room she looked at me and she was like do you think they are cute?! And I was like ya Ross is hot. Well my sister, having the big mouth she does... she told him the next day. We were then just flirting with eachother. My sister, Collin, My Mom, Haley, and Dustin were all going to head up to New York and Ross decided to tag along. Which was great. He had to leave that night and we texted his whole way home. The last night I was there we hit it off... he then left for an underway, and I flew home that same day. I was suprised to have an E-mail from him when I got home... and a couple weeks later we started dating!!! and I love him so much!!!! :)

Friend Making Monday

Today's task: Copy and paste these questions to your blog and give them your own answers.
http://kaseyhelder.blogspot.com/

You wouldn't be caught dead where?: I wouldn't be caught dead in a foreign country by myself

Do you have any hidden talents?: I can spit far lol!!!

Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at: Talking and Playing Soccer

Name two things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Being Patient and Not getting my way

Have you ever won a trophy?: Yep.. many in soccer

Name one thing not many people know about you: I enjoy going to school

Name your earliest memory: when I was about five years old, my friend and I flipped off a car as they drove by the house, and the guy came back and told on us, and we didn't even know that flipping someone off meant!!

What was your favorite musical group in jr. high?: Um, I'm not sure!?!

What was something the worst roommate you ever had did?: I haven't really had a roommate...

When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?: a teacher

What was your worst dating experience?: Having my dad drive us home from a dance

If you were about to die what would your last meal be?: crispy chicken salad, or turkey curisant

Who is the most important person in you life?: I have many very important people in my life. My great grandma, my grandma and grandpa swanger, My mom and Dad, Josh, Kayla, Kami and ROSS!!!

If your house was on fire what 3 things would you grab on your way out?: My Pictures, My Cat Sailor, and My pillows and Ross's blanket off my bed.

Happy Birthday Babe

Happy Birthday J Ross
I love you so much and I wish I were there with you to celebrate!!!
You are so amazing and I can't wait to be in your arms again!!
I MISS YOU!!

I'd rather be with you

Sitting here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way
I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too
Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear
I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too
I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say:I need to be bold

This song I have been listening to a lot lately, I would much rather be with J. I know it's not too much longer and I think that is why it's so hard. I miss him so much and I feel so lonely. I have been having my break down week, this week. I haven't cried, but it's the whole it a weird mood thing. I want to just be in his arms....

Other than that, I have been super busy babysitting and doing my graduation announcements...

I HOPE YOU ALL ARE HAVING A GREAT WEEK!!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day Mom...
You are the best mom in the whole world. I don't know what I would do without you. You have made me the person I am today. You have taught be everything I know. I love you so much. and I will miss you more than anything!!!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the wonderful mom's out there. Enjoy your day!!!!

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday

1. I'm thankful that I have such a supporting and wonderful family

2. I'm thankful for my boyfriend, who is always there for me

3. I'm thankful that I will be attending SCSU

4. I'm thankful that MY SISTER IS PREGNANT.... I can't wait to be an aunt.

5. I'm thankful for everyone in my life

I hope everyone is having a great week!!!!!!

33 days...missing him...

That's right only 33 more day until I move, I couldn't be more excited. I'm a little scared leaving everyone behind, but I know everything will be ok. I miss J so much... we had a great weekend while he was here for prom.
He arrived here at 2 on Friday afternoon, and we exchanged gifts for our one year...
-Red Sox Tickets
-Boat Blanket
-Red Sox hat and shirt
I loved my gifts, he is so sweet and I can't wait to live with him.
After we did the gift I took him to Idaho, we had dinner then we walked the beach, and walked the boardwalk, and then went to ice cream with my brother and his girlfriend.

Saturday, I let J sleep in and then I made him breakfest in bed. and Then we went and did go karts and mini golf (I beat him in both :) ) We then grabbed a quick lunch and then he dropped me off for my hair appt, and then we got ready...
when I finally got to see his tux I was very suprised that he actually picked out something very nice. (Good Job Babe) He looked amazing, and was the hottest guy at prom.
We then went to dinner and prom and then went to my frined Shelly's for a party afterwards!!!
It was a great weekend!!! I love you so much J.

Busy Month Ahead....
May 4th- Happy Birthday Jaime (Friend)
May 5th- Happy Birthday Jake (Cousin)
May 6th- Happy Birthday Wesley (J's son)
May 17th- HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!!!!! (J)
May 21st- Happy Birthday Scott (Uncle)
May 24th- Happy Birthday Mom and Happy Birthday Dad
May 30th- Happy Birthday Josh (Brother)
May 31st- Happy Birthday Zane (Cousin)
(Talk about a lot of Birthday's)

May 10th- Mother's Day!!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!!! I love you so much, you are the best mom in the whole world and you have taught me everything I know!!! I will miss you so much!!!!

PROM

The day he got to town.

The Group

I love him sooo much!!!!

Happy 1 year babe.

J-
You are my everything and I just wanted to write and say HAPPY Anniversary. I love you sooo much. I can't wait to see you in two days. I'm so excited for prom and to see you all dressed up. I miss you more than I can even begin to explain right now. But Happy one year handsome, you have made this the best year of my life and I have completely fallen in love with you. I care about you more than anything and you mean the world to me. I can't wait to celebrate our one year on friday. You are amazing babe and I love you with all my heart. You are the light in my day and you always seem to bring a smile to my face. 40 more days baby and I will be in your arms everyday!!! Being with you has made me the happiest girl in the whole world.
I love you my handsome amazing sweet loving wonderful sexy sailor, and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend in the whole world.
I love you J Ross!!!

Love always,
Your Princess

--PS: I can't wait for the Red Sox Game!!!!(Just don't be too upset when my team wins lol) :)

Lucky #8

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1) Prom in 6 days
2) Graduation in 40 days
3) Moving in 43 days
4) Memorial Day Weekend
5) Getting my hair and nails done for prom
6) Spending the summer with J
7) July 4th (Red Sox game)
8) Our 1 year

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1) Tan
2) Coached my soccer team (they won)
3) Went to Olive Garden with my brother and his GF
4) Babysat
5) worked out
6) Went to dessert with my brother and his GF
7) HUng out with some friends
8) slept

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1) Be in J's arms right now
2) I wish I could be moving now
3) I wish I could go buy a new phone
4) I wish I could travel
5) I wish I could bake
6)I wish I had a career right now
7) I wish that everything will work out
8) I wish that my mom will do ok on her way home

8 Shows I Watch:
1) The Hills
2) American Idol
3) Dancing with the Stars
4) Secret life of the American Teenager
5) Army Wives
6) Extreme Home Makeover
7) Tool Time re-runs
8) anything good on

ABC's

A: Addiction: Texting
B: Breakfast(what you eat): nothing or a fiber one bar
C: Chocolate or Chips: chips lol
D: Dessert or Appetizers : Appetizers
E: Essential Items: Make-up and cell phone
F: Favorite Color :pink
G: Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Gummy bears
H: Hometown: Spokane, Wa
I: Indulgence: shopping
J: January or July: July... I Love summertime!! and its my birthday month
K: Kids: love them but have none
L: Life isn't complete without: Family, and friends and J
M: Most exciting memory: State soccer
N: Number of Brothers and Sisters : brother, 2 sisters"
O: Oranges or Apples: oranges
P: Phobias or Fears: fears of being alone and spiders
Q: Quote: friends are the ones who walks in when everyone else is walking out
R: Reading: anything good
S: Summer or Spring: Summer
T: Tag 6 people: anyone who wants to
U: Unknown Fact About Me: I enjoy school even tho it stresses me out
V: Vacation I want to go on: somewhere fun with J
W: Walking or Running: both
X: X-Ray or Ultrasound: x ray
Y: Your favorite food: fruit
Z: Zoo or Bowling: both

Busy

Hey all,
Sorry I have been so busy lately and haven't posted in a week. I'm sorry. I have been in a little slump and I have been so busy that I haven't had time. but I'm going to post some more pictures from the wedding that I love.
1 week until my man gets here!!
45 days until I move!!

My man and I

My Sister Kami, Sister Kayla, and Me on my Brother Joshs back

I feel so bad...

My amazing boyfriend was at work until midnight tonight, and they are on a 3 section duty so for all of you that don't get that (I don't blame you), but that means he stays at the boat for 24 hours every three days. Anyways back to my story, he has duty tomorrow and he got home so late, I feel so bad for him. It gets worse though, on sunday he is taking my brother in laws duty day because Collin is in a wedding, talk about a nice friend my boyfriend is. So not only did he stay until Midnight, but he has duty the next two days. Aw I feel so bad. These are seriously the nights I wish I were there so I could let him get into bed and fix him a quick dinner and let him eat quick and then rub his back and let him fall asleep and then get up the next morning earlier than him and make him a nice breakfest. (People tell me that it won't last long of me wanting to do that, but really I think I will do it for him everyday that I can because I love the feeling of "taking" care of him) Anyways long story short is that I feel bad for him and I miss him soo much and wish I were there. Only 51 more days until I move, can you tell I can't wait!?! :)
I'm so in love with him. I can't wait to see him in two weeks for prom, he fly's in on Friday afternoon and leaves early sunday morning, aw what my man does for me!!

I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend.

Snow...

Yesterday morning this what I woke up to. 6 inches of snow on April 14th, REALLY??? I thought it was suppose to be spring time. Life in Spokane, six inches of snow one Tuesday, and next Tuesday it's suppose to be 81 degrees. Wow. Some Weather we have here.

--I hate Ross having duty, I miss him so much of these days. :(

I have a doctors appt tomorrow, school, and projects to work on. ahh.

Hope you all are having a great week!!

To clear things up...

I got a comment from a lady today telling me her advice is to not move in with someone unless your married, as you can see I have a completely different view on that. When I first read it, I didn't let it hit me, but know that I have thought about, it's hit harder than I should let it, but lets clear somethings up first...

-I was suppose to move into my sisters, but her husband got orders to Washington therefore, I will not be living with her.

-I'm still going to college and getting my education, it's better than running off and getting married (then my parents wouldn't pay for college). I'm sorry I want my education first.

- I think it's better to get to know the person and how they live before you get married. I think you learn a lot about someone when you live with them. I know it's not the "ideal" thing to do in society today, but it's what I want. Society is so judgemental these days. But whatever I'm doing what I want and what is best for me and my boyfriend.

--I am so happy that I'm going to be moving in with him. I'm completely in love and this my decision and my family and friends are backing me up 100%.

Friend Making Monday...

I just saw this blog and thought I would join...
http://kaseyhelder.blogspot.com/

What is the Best Advice someone has ever given you?
--The best advice someone has ever given me would have to be telling me that communication is the most important thing when it comes to a long distance relationship, they told me that if we can communicate and make it work long distance then we are finally together everything will work out. I'm moving out there soon and I know that if we made this long distance work as long as we have then it's going to be AMAZING living with him.

--My next advice someone has given me has to do with deployment. Deployments are always hard, but they said if you stay busy it will go by faster. The first two months J was gone, I was not staying busy at all and it seemed like he was gone forever, and the days were dragging on. But after those two months I got super busy (School, Soccer everyday (Sept-Nov), working out, and family) but the last 4 months flew by, I didn't know where the time had gone. These two advice have helped me out so much in my relationship.

Whats the best advice you have ever been given?

Navy Girlfriend Poem

I'm so in love with my sailor,
yet we're always apart,
and though the days are hard,
he's always in my heart.

I hold him in my heart,
until he can be by my side,
and it gets harder and harder,
every night that passes by.

I see him in my thoughts,
and all my fantasies and dreams,
he's the only one I think of,
or so it truely seems.

I imagine all the good times,
the ones where we laughed and cried,
and I can only miss him more,
and wish he was by my side.

The ocean took him away,
and now I just want him here,
and I really wish in that moment,
that he could just appear.

Though I know he'll be back someday,
It still hurts me when he's gone,
and I wish he never had to leave me,
but somehow I still move on.

I worry for him and his safey,
and secret tears will flow,
but through all of this,
he still loves me so.

I'm so proud of my navy boy,
and I can't wait to see him again,
but this is the hard and joyful life,
of what we call a navy girlfriend.


I can't even begin to tell you how hard this is getting. I hated knowing he was sitting at home all alone on Easter, I wanted nothing more than to just be there with him and have a nice dinner with him. It brakes my heart when he is lonely. :( Each day that passes only gets harder. I can't wait to be back there in 56 days.

--> Babe I miss you so much, but I'm staying strong for you. I can not even explain how Proud I am of you. You are my everything J and I can't wait to live with you. You are amazing and I love you with all my heart. 19 more days until I get to see you again... our shortest amount of time apart. Prom will be amazing because I will have the best date there. I LOVE YOU baby. I can't thank you enough for flying all the way across country just for my Prom and then flying out the next day, it means the world to me. I fall more in love with you each and everyday. You are my everything.

Happy Easter Weekend

My Church

Happy Easter Everyone, I hope everyone enjoys thier time with friends and family and has a nice relaxing day tomorrow.
I'm going to my aunt's house for a lunch/dinner with some family. I can't wait!!
HAPPY EASTER

Rainy day in Washington

Today is rainy, I hate and love these days all at the same time. I seem to get more done on rainy days, but rainy days make me feel tired.
Anyways, I started coaching a little soccer team with one of my best friends and we have six little girls on our team and they are anywhere from five to six years old. They have their first game today. Wish us luck.
--> I always feel bad when little kids have to play in the cold and rain. :(
I love coaching and seeing the smile on the kids face when they scored a goal.
oh how I love the game of soccer.
I will post later and let you know how the game went!!!

His and Hers

His

HERS

Back to the long distance

And once again I'm back to the long distance relationship. Ross was here this past week and I loved having him here. I think he liked Spokane which is good :) I can't even begin to explain how much I miss him and just want to be back there with him already. I'm starting to have a better look on things, I have 3 weeks until he is here again for prom, and I have 2 months until I move out there, so I'm going to just enjoy my time here with all my friends and family. But I have learned that this doesn't take away the fact of missing him, because I do miss him. I love having him around... his hugs, kisses, conversations, smiles, everything about him. I'm a lucky girl to have such a wonderful boyfriend. :)
I LOVE YOU BABY

Pictures

Kami, Josh, and Me

Kayla and my Dad

Kami, Mom, and Me

Me and Kami with Alli, Kourtney, Shell, and Michelle in the backround

Giving my grandpa a hug

Kay and my dad

Ross :)


Me and the love of my life.

Wedding

The wedding was beautiful, my sister looked amazing and everything went so well. Pictures will come soon. There are some great pictures.. we took sooo many at the church and then we went to this spot that looked over all of Spokane. Then the we went to a reception, and it was amazing. Pictures will come soon though.

Kayla and Collin:
You two are amazing and I love you both so much.

My boy left today and miss him already, I went back home after the airport and went back to bed for about an hour and I hated getting in bed alone, I felt so empty inside. I just wanted to be in his arms, but not too much longer.

And....
I got a tattoo yesterday, I will put a picture of that soon too.
Ross got a tattoo too.

Cleaning Cleaning Cleaning

Ahhh...
I have cleaned the whole basement, literally scrubbing everything down. My man gets here tomorrow!!! I can't wait!! About this time tomorrow I will be on my way to get the love of my life and of course Jaime too. :)
Everyone is pretty stressed out around here with the wedding only a few days away and LOTS to do.
There are sooo many people staying at my house it's getting stressful. But everything will work out and we will all have a great time I can't wait!!

Bachelorette Party

Suck for a Buck...


Sisters


The group

Spring Break...

It's finally here...
I am in major need of a break, this week has been crazy. I feel like I was on the go all week long. But this weekend is finally here and most of all spring break now!! Yay!! My man will be in 5 days and I can't wait to be in his arms again. :)

--On other news in my March Madness bracket I'm in first place in my family!!
That's pretty good for not watching any college basketball except for my zags.

Gonzaga plays tonight at 6:30 in the Sweet 16. GO ZAGS!!!!!!!!
-I'm babysitting tonight so that my cousin and his wife could go out to dinner and to a movie, they need it, so I am watching the game with my babies.. I seriously am with them so much they might as well be mine.

Counting down the days!!!

9 days..
I can't wait to see the love of my life!!!
My sister flys in tomorrow, and I have her bachelorette party this weekend, it should be fun!!
Not much going on here, it's going to start getting busy though. I will have a lot of pictures from this weekend and the wedding.
I will post a picture of the prom dress soon too.
Hope you all had a good monday!!

12 days...

Only 12 more days until I get to see the love of my life. :)

One more week until Spring Break ... finally I need some time off!!

HAPPY SPRING... today marks the first day of Spring!! Yay!!

Plans for the weekend:
Hanging out with some friends
Spring Cleaning (I need to deep clean my room and get rid of stuff I don't need)
Go see my Aunt on Saturday afternoon
I need to go shopping
And then just random errands and of course Homework!!

Do any of you have any fun plans for the weekend?!

Getting things ready...

These last couple of days have been really busy, which is nice sometimes. :)
- I got the car fixed up
- I have been tanning (for the wedding and prom)
-I have been working out everyday!!!
-I put a deposit down on College... (Yes, I have accepted SCSU now)
-I applied for my loans.
-The offical move will take place June 8th, just my mom and I will make the trip across country!!!
-I have to be back in CT on June 12th for work and work again on June 13th.
-Signed up for freshmen orintation June 14th and 15th, while my mom is still in CT.
-Mom will fly home June 16th.
-Finally a little time to spend with the love of my life. :) (I can't wait!!)

Kayla's Wedding: April 4th ... Ross fly's in on April 1st (yay)
Prom: May 2nd
Graduation: June 5th
Graduation Party: June 6th
... Packing everything up June 7th
Leaving home: June 8th

--> I'm so excited and can't wait to start my life on the east coast. I will miss everyone so much from home, but I'm so excited for the change and new everything!!!

-- One more thing, can I tell you how much I hate duty... I hate it because well Ross has is every three days. That means no more duty free weekends... They are in 'dry dock' (I'm not sure if thats exactly what its called, but anyways..) They can't really use there phones there, I was used to getting calls when he was on duty, not anymore. And then he is so tired after duty that I feel so bad keeping him awake, but ahh. I hate duty. I know I will hate it more when I'm there because well, he won't be home, and that means sleeping alone, but I'm use to that right now. (Sorry there is my little venting session about that) :)

HAPPY ST. PATTIES DAY!!!!!

Things I miss the most...

I miss his touch
I miss his hugs
I miss his kisses
I miss just laying in bed with him
I miss watching movies with him
ok, I will admit, I even miss playin video games with him
I miss just riding in the car with him and singing to every song I hear lol.
I miss falling asleep in his arms
I miss just seeing him everyday and smiling because I'm in love with the most amazing guy in the whole world.
I miss holding his hand
I miss being in his arms... the place where I am the luckiest girl in the world
I MISS HIM. Everything about him!!! I know I need to be strong. I just hate being so far away.
He has been working so hard this week, long days and not getting home until late and then he is so exhausted there is no way I could make him stay awake to talk. I know I say this a lot but I'm truly am proud of him, everyday he amazes me more and more. He reminds me everyday why I fell in love with him in the first place. Ross is an amazing boyfriend and I love him so much!! I can't wait to live with you babe.
--If you can't tell I miss him so much that it hurts. I wish I were there with him. I know it's not too much longer and I'm trying hard to stay strong, but some days are worse that others, some days I just really need his touch.

May 2nd 2009... Prom Night

Today I went prom dress shopping, I thought it would take forever, but actually it didn't take long at all. I love my dress, pictures will come soon. :) I'm so excited to go to prom with the love of my life and be a princess for the night. It means the world to me that he is coming to my Senior Prom. (I love you babe and You are truly amazing)
-- I can't wait for my prom. (May 2nd 2009)

TGIF...

Happy Friday everyone!
Hope you all have a great weekend!!

2 Friendships...

Sure I think about you now and then,
but it's been a long time now.
I've got a good life now and I've moved on
So when you cross my mind...
I try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken two very different roads
and We can't go back again
There's no use in trying
And there's no way to know
What might have been
We can sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, there are memories I will never forget
But I will never forget what you did to me either
But we'll have to leave them in the past...
And theres no way to know
What might have been
we need to just say good bye,
and turn and walk away...

The two people I am talking about know who they are, and they are hurt me so bad, that it's better just left unsaid. I wish them both the best of luck in anything they do. This is something I have to do... for me (which is something that I have a hard time with)
People told me all along I was going to get hurt, I should have listened, but I didn't because I wanted to give them a chance, I give everyone a chance. I'm that type of person.
It's just hard when they don't accept me for who I am...

Missing him more than ever...

I miss "us" right now... I just want a hug and kiss and to fall asleep in his arms. I miss it more than anything. Only three more months of being apart like this and I know I can do it. There are just those days when all I want is him and can't have him. Phone calls will have to do. :)

Babe,
I just want you to know that I love you and I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to live with you and I look forward to waking up next you every morning that you are home. You are truly amazing. and you make me the happiest girl in the whole world. I'm really missing you today babe. I can't wait to see you in 3 weeks!! Finally you will get to see my home. :)
Love Always
Your Princess
(K Rae)

life...

Home Town...


The move...



The new home...


The college I will be at...

The move will take place in early June.. I'm so excited. I will miss everyone from home, but it's something I have to do. I love the school that I will be attending and to tell you the truth I hate long distance relationships, but I make it work because I love him. It's just time to live closer and it's the perfect time. I'm very much in love and I can't wait to see him everyday!!

Accepted...

I got accepted to Southen Connecticut State University yesterday. I had a feeling a would get in, but to actually see it in writing makes me so happy. I know the journey is beginning now and I can't wait.

Yesterday Ross was on duty so I sent him a text and was like babe, I have really good news for you and I can't wait to tell you. He then called like ten minutes later, and I told him over the phone that I got accepted, I was basically just screaming with excitement. :)
I hope he is as happy as I am. One step closer to moving in with him!! :)
I love you babe!

Bachelor

I don't know if any of you watch the Bachelor, but it took me by suprise last night. I liked both of the final girls, and either one of them would have been great, but wow... I didn't think he would actually do that. I feel bad for Melissa becasue he got down on one knee for her and told her he loved her, that would probably be the worse is hearing him say I love you and then just giving up on her that quickly. But I'm glad Molly gets him, because she is a sweetheart. I feel bad that she had to go through that and not get the final rose, but she ended up with Jason so I guess thats good!!

Besides all that, I have just been trying to get most of my homework done and just keeping up with the school work. We got our graduation invitations today, yay!! That means everything is getting closer and I can't wait!!

We planned my sister's bachelorette party the other day, I'm so excited, we are going to fix dinner and play some funny games and then we are taking this motorhome that we all call the "bus" around and going bar hoping, and then back to one of the girls house's to stay the night!! It will be so much fun. Everyone that is invited are really cool girls and a lot of fun to hang out with so I can't wait.

My Life...

Happy March...

Wow, I can't believe it's March already. I can't believe my sister's wedding is in 1 month. I can't believe prom is in 2 months and I can't believe I graduation and move in 3 months. I can't believe Ross got home 2 1/2 months ago. wow!!

HAPPY 10 MONTHS baby, I know we don't really have a 10 months because there is no 29th this month, but it has still been the best 10 months of my life, I wouldn't change it for the world. Ross I will always be there for you. I love you so much and I can't wait to live with you babe. (Not too much longer) I miss you so much it hurts sometimes, but I'm tryin hard to stay strong. You make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world!! Thank you!

I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and the long distance can't stop that.

Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!

I wake every morning and rest at night, My thoughts and dreams filled with your sight. Oh how I wish, even for one night, I could lay in your arms and you hold me tight.

Fireproof...

This was such a good movie, I really recommend it.

Navy Girlfriend

I lay motionless in bed
while the world still spins
wishing you were somewhere near
I will always be standing on that pier
waiting for your safe return
I hold onto each and every promise
But it's never a "good bye"
it's always a "see you later"
I am at the bottom of the list
I hold no Military ID
But half my heart is still on that sub
I am a Navy Girlfriend
that is my title
I have promised to be there for you
and that is something
that will always stay true
people say I'm crazy
I just smile and shake my head
because I will always hold on to our last hug
and kiss ;)
so when people say their prayers
for the wives, mothers, and fathers
I hope they won't forget me
because my heart aches too.
I sleep alone
I cry alone
But I carry on with my life
even when we are oceans apart
I promised to be strong
so I hide those tears
and put on a smile
only because you make me smile
I will always wait for you
and I will always support you
I'm right by your side through everything.
YOU ARE MY HERO J. ROSS LAWRENCE
and I love you very much!

Broke Down...

Today I just broke down. I hate being so far away and I miss him so much!! I love being there with him, even if he is playing video games and I'm just laying there on the bed or I'm getting ready. Just knowing he is close is the best feeling in the whole world. I thought I would start to get use to this, I mean thats all our relationship ever has been except for the times when I go and visit, but it's getting harder. I try to hold it all in and not tell anyone how much I really miss him, but today I broke down. I think it's from being tired and stressed out that I just started crying. I mean I'm laying my heart on the line for him and I have fallen in love with this guy. I only have a few months and I will be living there, and I can't wait. I can't wait to just be in his arms again, the place where I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world. He means the world to me and I would do anything for him. I truly hope he feels the same way. He is so amazing and I couldn't imagine my life any other way. He is the one that puts a smile on my face everyday and even though there are tears right now, it's only because I love him so much and it's his touch that I'm missing. Phone calls and Texts can only do so much.
I'm going to start tomorrow with a new day and smile on my face because I love him and I'm going to be strong. I know I can be, it's just been a long day.
I love you J. Ross!!

Little Stressed...

It's becoming that time in school where everyone is stressed out, there is a lot of homework, and there is not much time left before graduation. I have a lot on my mind right now with college and moving and everything. I'm not doubting anything, I just have so much to think about. I have been filling out scholarship stuff and there is so much paperwork that goes along with those. I have been trying to start feeling better which today I have been feeling a lot better which is great. Tomorrow I'm going to start working out again, I haven't been able to because I was sick and I can't wait to go to the gym again. It always helps to go there and have my ipod on, it's almost like I can escape the world for about an hour. I don't have to worry about a thing when I'm there. It really needs to stop raining around here, it make it hard to work when It's pouring down rain. I'm ready for Spring!!!! :) So today is officially 100 days until I graduate, wow!! It's exciting!!! :)

Senior Picture...

Doing Better...

Today I had a doctors appointment for my ear and sinus's, he put me on 3 new medicines. One of which is a pain med and it has helped a little bit so that is good. Now I'm going to try and get some stuff done while I'm feeling a little better. I have a lot of school work to do, scholarship things to fill out. Basically just time consuming, but I'm going to work through it and get it done!! Wish me luck!!

Miserable....

I knew I was sick with a cold, but on my way home from CT my ear hurt soooo bad on the plane to the point I was in tears. I don't know if any of you have ever had a bad ear on a plane, but let me tell you it's the worse. So the last couple of days I have been taking sudafed hoping that it would help. I still can't hear anything out of this ear and it is getting worse. So last night I took a pain pill and tried to go to sleep a little early because I wasn't feelin to well. Well, then I got a wake up call at 12 because my boyfriend is in Philly right now with one of his best friends and I like him to call me when he gets home from drinking so I don't worry. Well, anyways after that wake up call I couldn't go back to sleep because my ear was killing me I think I finally got another hour of sleep after the call. So this morning I went and saw a doctor, waited an hour and a half for that, finally got seen by the doctor and he said I have a bad sinus infection and probably the worst ear infection he has seen. So now I have an antibiotic and ear numbing drops to help with the pain. He said if it doesn't get somewhat better in 2 days I have to go see my doctor because my eardrum may have ruptured. I'm feeling miserable right now and to top it all off I miss Ross more than anything. I'm trying so hard to stay strong, but I just wish I was there or he was here. He knows how to make me feel better :). I have so much homework to get made up from being gone, but now I'm sick and it's the last thing I want to do lol. Well I'm off to cuddle up in a blanket and maybe take a little nap, then work on homework. I need to feel better... ahh...

The man I love

This guy right here is the most amazing guy in the whole world. I miss him so much.

Back Home....

I'm back home in Spokane. I got home late last night. It was a long day of flying and I'm sick so it didn't make for a fun trip home. I feel so bad for Ross having to deal with my crying everytime I leave. I thought it would get easier to leave him, but it's not. I fall more in love with him everytime I'm with him and that's what makes it hard. It's hard knowing we live a country apart. I just love being able to wake up in the middle of the night in his arms, I love the hugs and kisses, I love just being there. It's hard to leave that. But I'm trying to stay strong and stay busy to let the time past a little faster. It always takes me a day or two to adjust to not having him around. I'm going to make it okay and keep my head up high because I love him. I can't wait to move. 6 more weeks until I see him, and it will be him flying out to see me and my home town. I can't wait!! Oh and by the way, meeting his dad went very well. His dad is a very nice guy. (At least he opened the door for me lol) Over all my trip was amazing and I loved spending time with him. And I still have a smile on my face because he is not out to sea. :)

Valentines Day!!

My Valentine's day was amazing!!! I woke up and brought my man some breakfest, then that night he took me to dinner (we got all dressed up... it was fun) and ice cream (my favorite) and then we wanted to be little kids for a bit so we went to chucke cheese. lol. then we came home and watched a movie. It was a great night!! (I love you babe, and thank you so much for our amazing night), but of course I have been sick all day... seriously I hate the timing on things. The one week I'm out of town I get sick and have my girl problems, but oh well I guess it could be worse. Well I better get going, I headed to meet his DAD tonight... wish me luck!! :)

GOOD NEWS...

First off, I just deleted my last post on accident, and I had a comment from someone on there, but I have no idea what it said, so if you are reading and you left the comment, please comment again. Sorry :(
Secondly,
I have great news... my phone rang when I got home from school today and it was Ross, he said he only had a few minutes to talk, but that we needed to talk, he sounded like he was in a good mood, so I was like whats up? and he told me the best news I have heard in a loooong time, HE IS NOT LEAVING after all. I'm so excited, I changed my flight back. I'm heading to CT on Tuesday the 10th. I can't wait to see him!! I miss him so much and I can't wait to be there. I have so much to do now before I leave. Today can't get any better!!! :)

Wishes BROKEN...

Today has not been very good at all, I was so excited to go back to Connecticut and I couldn't wait, I have a job interview, I have a tour of the college, and I just miss him so much and wanted nothing more than to be there with him, but he called me tonight when he got out of work and said he would probably have to leave with the boat next week. Ross was going to go to school starting next monday instead of leaving with the boat, but now he probably has to leave. It was instant tears... Not just because I MISS him, but because I don't know what to do now?! I have a flight booked, a interview planned, and a tour of college. What do I do? It's hard because I'm so proud of him and words will never be able to describe how proud I am of him, and I hate showing him that I'm upset about it, because I want nothing more than to just support him through everything and I know it's his job. It's just hard, I'm new at this whole Navy Girlfriend thing, I mean he just got home from a deployment and I didn't think anything could be much worse, but I guess there is. I'm trying to stay strong.... but it's getting hard!!! These tears aren't stoppin. :(

Getting ready to see my man!

I'm heading to Connecticut on Tuesday the 10th and get to spend Valentine's day with Ross. I can't wait, but I have so much to get done before I leave. It's hard being in a long distance relationship, but I'm trying to stay strong. I just miss him so much. I can't wait to move back in June. I'm going on a tour of Southern on the 13th, and I have a job interview that same day. Moving doesn't seem so far out now. :) I have a lot to look forward to in these next few months, hopefully I will just stay busy and the time will fly by.


April- Kayla's Wedding!
May-Prom/ Ross's Birthday!
June-Graduation/ I move!!

I'm very excited for all these things coming up, I just am having a hard time right now being so far away....

Welcome!

Hey! I'm just starting this whole blog thing, because I am planning on moving in four months and I want my friends and family to be able to know whats going on without having to call them all the time. And I just want to meet some new people!! My life is going to start changing so much, and I want to have my family and friends along for the ride. :)